When you carry out acts of kindness you get a wonderful feeling inside. It is as though something inside your body responds and says, yes, this is how I ought to feel.
- Harold Kushner

I am in a cross road now as whatever decision made will determine my life path in the next year or so. I have been talking to my dearest friends, families and of course my dear parents. What I want to do next year and where I want to go. I always thought knowing what you want, knowing where you want to be are good things. Apparently the answer is not always.

This comes back to the discussion I brought up quite a while ago. The discussion of parents and families and their wishes. The very same discussion that I have brought up a gazillion times before - virtually and actually.

Like always, the question revolves around, "What next?" Yes, that very same old question that has been asked from year to year.

When do you draw that line between being selfish and selfless? When do you make compromise about your needs and the need of others? When do you have to make that fair call that would satisfy you and everyone else? Why should I- life is unfair after all. The most importantly is how?

So far I fail to see how I can take the perfect decision. This is ironic, as an MCP, I have learnt quite a great deal about taking decision. It is far easier as you only have one ultimate goal when taking decisions as MCP. What is the best for the country. I still have to find a way to take a decision what is best not only for me but also for my family and my friends. It is when the variables start involving other people, that makes it far trickier.

I guess, whatever the decision may be, it comes with its own valid justifications. Just recently, I realised that anyone could justify themselves on anything when it comes to taking personal decision. The decision could swing from one extreme to another and no other person can judge whether it is right or wrong. By saying that though, it is right according to you but fundamentally it might not :/

One might say "Do whatever you want, it's your life and you take charge of it. Dont listen to other people." Other might say, "Put your family first. Do not regret later in life that you do not spend enough time with your family." One rule that I always go by in taking decision though, I know myself, I know what is best for me and it is my decision after all. And the greatest thing about taking personal decision is that you only have yourself to either give kudos to when you're taking the right one or blame yourself when it's a bad one.

I somehow have a feeling that this wont be the last time I'm ranting about this topic.

Labels: Rant