.
I now know what it feels to "fight the battle you can never win". It was exhausting and confusing. It was confusing because it makes you wonder, why the hell am I doing this? Am I actually doing the right thing? Who's wrong, then?

The first time someone said this to me I tried to make sense of it. Funny how after so many months I just got what it really means. Given no option to flee, do you keep on fighting or just give in?

The people of AIESEC
I had a talk with Mialy, one of the interns currently working for Fonterra, about AIESEC and how powerful this organisation is. I have seen people's lives changed because of it and mine included. When Ryan first told his story about the farewell words from one of the interns to him, I nodded and wondered. I was wondering if I would ever be lucky enough to actually experienced it myself.

Last year, we hosted Antony for one and a half years. He was pretty much the one and only intern who knows as much as I know about the leadership in AIESEC Canterbury at that stage. Seeing his involvement, his openness to change and his attitude towards life made me think, if I were an intern one day I surely will enjoy my internship as much as I can no matter what. That is an attitude that all AIESECer should have. I didn't realised how much the experience has made an impact on him until he's about to leave. When he said "Thank you." he meaned it. I just can feel that he sincerely mean it because it did have a big impact on his life.

Ever since I joined AIESEC, I always fascinated by the people. The passion and commitment that they demonstrated really makes me want to achieve more. The people I met in the last 3 years are the ones who kept me going until today. They believe in me so much it makes me wonder what the heck am I doing that makes these people believe in me? What ever the reason is, nonetheless, thank you. I used to think that every one in AIESEC is like that (How naive was I?) but no. I truly appreciate that.



We love the OC, we do!
I love New Zealand Conferences' OC! Honestly. Just take a look at this NZLDS Delegates FAQ. These are the people you want for International Congress' CC. Handling so many delegates and demanding MC members, someone got to keep the CC sane.
Crap I missed the bus, what do I do?
Yeah that is a big problem for you, not the OC, not the DT. You are responsible to get yourself to the venue. Taxi, hitch hike. its up to you but is at your own expense.
My personal favourite:

***Disclaimer***If the OC or DT receives an email asking any of these questions, you are asking can I have an eggly? The answer will be yes. This applies whether you have read this email or not.
Eggly? Another Kiwi Ingenuity. Being here is everything. YAY - Can't wait til NZLDS!

Footnote:
OC- Organising Committee
DT - the Delivery Team (Facilitators)



Being Happy is Everything
The last couple of weeks are one of those procrastination weeks. Yeap, my "chronic illness" now expands to weeks rather than just a certain period of time in a day. Very dangerous in deed. Just the other day I was chatting with HD about needing a muse to inspire me. Of course, no feasible suggestion came out of the conversation. No inspiration, no excitement, no nothing. How's life? Good. But, how good is good?

Then, yesterday I helped out with Vic's Review Board. Being there- interviewing people, asking tough questions, observing and discussing each candidate has given me this renewed energy. Members' demonstration of the passion, the understanding of AIESEC, the willingness to learn and to experience new things - all remind me of why I do what I do. We sometimes take for granted the joy of being in an LC. It is not AI or the MC who makes the real difference, its the LCs. Making a difference - it's not in the position, it's in the action! ;)

Right, enough being phillosophical. Another thing that makes me happy is that I got to do what I haven't done in such a looo..oong time. Reading! I spent two hours reading in the library today. Sounds geeky, huh? But I reckon it was a good investment of time. I read this book titled "Nice Girls Don't Get the Corner Office" - it is a recomended book for all career-women (Don't listen to this bullshyte, people :p). Throughout reading the book, I was all smiling, nodding and thinking "true true... ooh, that's why!... sounds a lot like me!" From this book I learned a lot about the source of my unhappiness but the most important thing is now I know what to do about it. If just the other day I told Simone that I might not be ready to work in the real-world. Well well.... now all I can say is.... bring it on, World!

Bottom line of this post is that I have to make time to do more of what I enjoy doing. Two years ago I was in the same situation where I worked hard, too hard in fact I got to a point where the energy and motivation level was at its lowest. It is very easy to do in AIESEC. I "forgot" to take a breather and burnt out. Where I am now, it is not an option, really. Work life balance - that is one of the personal goals that I wanted to achieve in my MC term as stated in my application form. And that is what I'm going to strive for.