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Random Act of Kindness
When you carry out acts of kindness you get a wonderful feeling inside. It is as though something inside your body responds and says, yes, this is how I ought to feel. Nikita Wong. Wongy. Wongkie. Wongkitongkie. Ms. Wong. Nikita. Whatever name you know me by. This is my ranting and rambling on the memoirs of the olden days, the excitement of the present days, and the anticipation of the future. This is me, uncensored. |
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The first for everything
I was sitting on my first non-AIESEC seminar. The fact that I just joined the organisation for 7 months with no finance background at all did not help at all. The first half, I spent trying to comprehend what is being talked about. I get the gist but not the full details.No energisers, no line dances, no "team bonding" stupid silly games (OMG, the alumni were right!). Although there were equally as many powerpoints and cool videos. It felt bizarre not to be in the know. I felt like I'm a newbie on my first IC. Whatever up for discussion was completely over my head, although some strategies discussed I could relate them back to 'back in my days in @.' WOW. That particular moment makes me feel better. Despite everything, it was a great learning experience, getting people who have worked in the industry for years and years (it's only 7 months and I already whines.), who knows their shizzle and makes me feel like I'm very little. The whole experience was pretty humbling. Labels: thoughts 52 weeks
Here I am, blogging away on the night of the 1st of July. I did not realise the significance of this day until certain someone emailed me. This night one year ago was the celebration time for myself and Sneha as it marked the very last day and night of our MC term. It really has been that long ago, but for some reason everything is still vivid in my head like a fresh memory. My first stop after departing New Zealand was Singapore before heading off to the Rainforest World Music Festival in Kuching. Well..., 51 weeks later I am back in Singapore. For a completely different reason, with a completely different bunch of people doing a completely different thing. I'm here with my boss, for work. Not a time when you normally have time to sit back, relax, enjoy the atmosphere and reflect on things. Whether I like it or not, I get real emo and cant help myself but reflecting. It is surprising what life has in store for you, eh? Labels: thoughts Bedtime Tale
I met someone who has got quite an amazing bedtime tale to tell. I reckon he might be in his late 50. His hands were shaking every time he speaks so passionately about his background, history and his journey to where he is now today.Back in his university days, he was an anti-war activist against the Vietnam war. Later on in life, when he held quite a high-up position in a large company that makes airplanes in the US, business and humanity considerations call to reach out to Vietnam (channeling medicines). Cutting long story short - across seas, borders, cultures, and diplomatic challenges (think about two governments who doesn't talk to each other!) he made the impossible - possible. After many years, he finally able to make that difference in a matter he was so passionate about back in his university days. He was doing more of this humanity work than his own business work and then he decided to quit his job and established this NGO as his vehicle to channel his humanity work focusing on developing health care for the underprivileged, working currently for Indonesian community. Some story that was! It makes me think though, after many many years being involved in a youth leadership development organisation, what kind of contribution would I make in the society? Labels: inspiration, thoughts
Posted on: Sunday, June 14, 2009
Posted at: 12:41 AM 1 Comments:
Staying here a little longer...
I just had my contract renewed. For another 6 months ( I assume, since I have not seen it myself). So I guess I'm going to stay here a little bit longer. Many times have I had conversations with different friends on how we never expect to be where we are or become who we are today. Many times also I think about this. What had happened, whom had I met, where had I been. Different kinds of stories, people and places just jumped out of my memories, putting a smile to my face. For without these stories, people and places I wouldn't be who I am today - a smart-ass, overly critical, annoying, sarcastic beautiful self. :) They were there for a reason.Since I started working almost 6 months ago, things have changed slightly. I'm able to appreciate more of what I have (or have had) and wising up a little to adapt in an environment very different that what I had been exposed to in my previous 7 years of my life. At times, these hindsights are making me missing my old life and my old friends like crazy! But at the same time you know that nothing is going to be the same, people are moving on and so should I. So, my idea of "moving on" is putting the skills I've learned from AIESEC into practice, learning the ropes on a game of office politics (what fun!), taking a full dive into 'the real world' and being an agent of change in the process. The last bit is to redeem myself for not being able to go on an internship. Having the chance to make a difference where it matters. What a life I'd say! Best quote of the year
Ahh, memories. Sometimes they're best left in the past where they belong, as there's nothing sadder than discovering something that you used to treasure hasn't really stood the test of time.(Taken from stuff.co.nz, this is actually the opening paragraph of the review of the Goodnight Kiwi) Hmmm... so true. Related to my "Who moved my cheese?" discussion with certain person - this could probably be one of the things that I am most scared of in my life. Labels: life, quote, random, thoughts, wisdom Livin' It Up
I can't sleep last night as I was overly excited. My birthday is coming up (err.. actually it's like two and a half months away), and it's my big 2-5. So, I want to do something a bit different this time. You know - twenty five years old, quarter-life crisis, the need to do something larger than life, something to prove yourself. Besides, this would be the first time in ages I'd spend my birthday in Jakarta. I was thinking, it might be a good idea to do something that I desperately would like to do for a long time, something that is a bit challenging. Going to Europe, though, is not an option. Hehe. Backpacking around the world is a tad expensive. Skydiving would be pretty sweet, but I don't really trust skydivers here in Jakarta or Indonesia as a whole (pardon me, I have not seen or heard enough to earn credibility). Bungy jumping is overrated and is not really my thing. I was thinking about hiking! I'd like to hike at some point of time in my life, I just don't have the physique (and will for that matter) for it. I hate climbing hills! I remember my time in Wellington - people had to drag me down to town and cheat me not to take the taxi up. I'd be left far behind when we're climbing up the stairs and hills. I'd be breathless just taking up the stairs to the flat. I had to say no to any activities that requires an extensive walking uphill (unless there is absolutely no other way that I can dodge it). Yes yes, you past residents of 100 Kelburn Parade must be familiar with this. So, I thought this decision is quite revolutionary. I don't know which mountain to hike though and who's coming with me (any takers?). Maybe Mount Bromo? I would LOVE to come back to New Zealand to do the Tongariro Crossing, but that has to wait for a wee while I reckon. From now til January - I'll be training for this. And that mountain has to be climbed before my 26th birthday in 2010! What a random thing to keep me awake all night. Labels: life, random, thoughts
Posted on: Friday, November 21, 2008
Posted at: 6:40 AM 2 Comments:
It comes in different package
Two months into my reintegration back to my 'home country' is not easy, but definitely not as hard as I thought it would be. Being able to reconnect back to old friends (some I have not met in 12 years - since I left primary school), having conversations with friends and families in a whole new different level, finding new friends and doing things that I never had the time for in the past are some of the things that makes this reintegration process a lot smoother.
Of course there are many many times when I miss being able to walk along Lambton Quay at 2 pm on a Saturday for window shopping. Or going for a Sunday brunch. Or just hanging around at Te Papa and then walking along the waterfront on a lazy summer afternoon. Oh, dont forget the coffees. At very odd times, the smell of Twinning's Earl Grey reminds me of my work place, the smell of Nescafe Classic reminds me of the MC's office and everytime I listen to Elemeno P, I remembered about you party people *I know I know, how could you not?*- you know who you are. There are so many other reasons why I thought re-integration is hard, very hard indeed, for me. I used to think Jakarta is a wild, useless city where people at my age are only into partying, prettying up and spending money on the most unnecessary things on the name of beauty, fashion and status. Young people of no opinion and have no care in the world's issues. Shallow people with big ego in nice dresses. This is what I saw at my 3-weeks-at-the-very-most-holiday visits. How can I possibly be friends with these kind of people when you are normally being surrounded with passionate, committed, hard-working people? People smarter and wiser than you are, that you learned a great deal from? People so inspiring, that you are inspired to do your best in everything you do and finish what you started. People who have hopes in changing the world and actually doing something about it. ... The three weeks that I had, was just enough to say hi and bye to the big family that I'm a part of and to the different circles of friends. Three weeks was barely enough time to go through the long 'what-to-eat' , 'where-to-go' and 'what-to-buy' lists that I have every time I come home. Three weeks is only three weekends. The fact is, three weeks is not enough time to observe life in this city more than meets the eyes. To hold decent conversations about social economics issues, politics, environments. To understand what the hell is going on in this country and where is it going to. To hear other people's opinion about life and about world. To dig deeper. I'm glad that I *finally* spent more than three weeks this time. The people I met and the conversations I had - have completely given me more hope of the potential of doing something meaningful and not being someone else just because of the environment around me . I'm glad that I had that 3-hour-coversation in a foodcourt talking about stuff other than shoes and dresses. Similar conversation that I used to have at 10 pm in the MC office. Random shit that opens mind and challenges your view. I'm hoping that this continues on with different people at different time and place. So, who moved my cheese? No one. It just comes in different package.
Posted on: Friday, September 19, 2008
Posted at: 11:23 PM 3 Comments:
Lesson learned?
I tell you a story of my life. Many many years ago back in my high school years - I had a friend. Our friendship grew over time. There were good times and there were bad times. Times when we got told off by our teachers, sneaking out of a study tour to do our own sightseeing, hunting for good cheap food and going to the beach, the times when we're stressing up over exams and tests, the times when we told each other secrets. It was all good. Not so long after the friendship built, he told me he wanted to leave. He wanted to ask for a transfer to another classroom where all of his friends were. He said he does not feel he fit in where he is now. I was mad. I was real mad. That was my first taste of disappointment. I told him I don't want him to leave. I asked him what the hell is wrong with my friends. I just dont get it. At last I reached my own conclusion that he never sees me as his friend anyway. What is the point of begging him to stay. Over a course of several days he kept on telling me that he is going to go to the teacher and sk for the transfer. And for several days I asked him to re-consider. Until that day when I drawn my own conclusion. I was being mean and saying things that I don't mean. I said to him that he always talks and never walk the talk. "If you wanted to leave so badly, then do it." Things have never been the same since. I was hurt. Apparently, he did too. We never spoken to each other since then until my last day at school before heading to New Zealand. There was regret, heartache and other unpleasant feelings. But unfortunately this is something that irreversible. This is an old story. We're back in speaking terms again. But it's not the same. Time heals - but never forget. I should have learned from it. But, have I? Labels: thoughts Random Rants
This post is dedicated to the many many thoughts I have and the urge to dump these on to a journal in the most unstructured way. With no order of importance On Friendship I had a very interesting discussion the other day with a best-friend of mine. I then realised why she is one of my best-friends, although time, space and little lack of communication in the past 6 years we still value everything about each other as ever. People come and go, but there are some rare people who will stick by you no matter what. You just need to hold on to these people. On Family Ah, this one has just gone completely out of control. The bottom of the story is that I need to know how to bridge inter-generation and inter-cultural gap? Or just simply bridging parents-child relationship. Parents, eh? Cant live with them, cant live without them. On Home Related to the thoughts above - the definition of home has become quite blurry to me. Home is where the heart is so they say. Where your family and friends are. Where you feel comfortable being 'at home'. Where would it be? Jakarta, Christchurch or Wellington? Ten years ago it was Jakarta. Four years ago it was Christchurch. Last year it was Wellington. Now? I cannot see myself living in these cities in the near future, for one reason or another. Weird, huh? Leading a nomad-life my Mum would say. Well, so be it. On History Repeats Itself Sometimes you wished that you foresee situations in your dream so that you can do it differently in real life and make things right. Everything that's going on right at the moment in my life is a repeat of the same thing 6 years ago. I dont' know what or how but it is actually happening. Different place, different names of course but all the same. Is it any easier? No, it's not. It is heart-breaking to see the same ego and childish attitude took over and ruin pretty much everything. It's making me all mellow and homesick. :'( On Life in general Busy. As always. Need more time for self. Need more time, full stop. Desperately in need for holiday. Desperately in need for some peaceful moments and seeing beautiful sunrise. Desperately in need to be happy(er). Excited with moving on. Counting down.
Posted on: Thursday, April 10, 2008
Posted at: 9:04 AM 1 Comments:
When.......
"I don't know." turns into "I don't care. " ... Then, it is time for some serious musings. Labels: thoughts Reflection
A-hah.. I'm on blogging spree lately. The year 2006, 2007 (and now, the beginning of 2008) felt like an exponential learning curve for me. Everyday, there is always new things to learn in life, to experience, and to feel. Which is great! But I have not taken enough time to reflect on these experiences. The learning points of it all have not truly sink in and I have not truly appreciated it. Which is a shame. I read my old old old blog entries the other day. The days of old when freedom of speech was quite literal and know no boundaries. I realised that there are some things of me that have changed over time and some are still the same. Thanks to the good, bad and ugly of life in the past few years, yea. Then on the other side, there are things that still the same. It's funny to see how much you grow as a person but yet you are still the same person deep inside - if you know what I mean? I have been contemplating on taking some "time off life". It has always been a constant on-the-go for the past few years where "What next?" is a seasonal question. A real time off would do one good, it is time for reflection, it is time to figure out life, to re-prioritise and re-energise. The flipside of it is while you are taking time off - the world doesn't stop revolving. The opportunities, the experience, the people and many many other things. So... what next, eh? Well, we should save this discussion for another time. Labels: thoughts Getting Through
He is an old friend of mine. The kind of friend who you never made the effort to keep in touch with but the friendship never really fades and you quickly pick things up where you left off. He is the kind of person that I have that love-hate relationship with. In the sense that you hate him when he picks on you but you do respect him when he's being a good listener.
His Dad passed away near the end of last year. I don't know too much about his family but he became the head of the family every so instantly. He takes care of his Mum, work and finishing Uni all at the same time. Being the father of the house pretty much. He told me all these today. It made me feel ashamed of myself. I laughed as I realised how silly I have become. Dwelling over practically nothing compare to what he has to go through. I thought he doesnt know anything about getting through and I have had enough of people telling me cliches. I was so wrong. He knows more than I do about handling "difficult times". He said, "I may not know what exactly that you have to go through, but I'm sure that you can get through it." For that. I thank you. You grieve you learn, you choke you learn Listen to your parents
Every passing day teaches you something new. When I was young (not that I'm old now, though) my parents are so worried and over-protective of me. They want to know who I hang out with, I cannot bring the friends that they have not met home and they always tell me to be careful in choosing who I am friends with.I think it is quite strange. Why and how should I choose my friends, why can't I bring friends home, why cant my parents be a little bit friendlier to my friends (it's not like they dont, its more to the friends that they dont know). Obviously, I never listen to them. I am friends with whoever I want because I think I know the best who should I be friends with. When I moved to New Zealand, and this is when I was in my late teen, they did the same. The same old advice to choose my friend carefully. The fact that they are not here to see my AIESEC friends especially, making it a lot harder for them. As always, I stand by my own principle. After this morning, I realise what it is meant to "choose your friends" and "don't bring friends home." I realise now how lucky I am to have the friends that I have now. Lucky. After so many years, I now understand, Mum.
Posted on: Sunday, October 21, 2007
Posted at: 9:45 AM 3 Comments:
Too Much of a Good Thing
I was just flicking through old old pictures. I saw many familiar but distant faces all around - people who come and go in AIESEC. People who I trusted, had a lot of faith in ... but ended up disappointed me in many ways! Why are there so many people that I have had history as such? Why can't one or two be enough? The one reason why it always happen is because I believe that once people realised the urgency of what needs to be done/what they have done wrong and need to sort out - they will change. Many times though, they ended up don't. Second chance. Believe. Having faith in your team. Support. Fairness. Whatever you want to call it. It might sounds good and well - but as like everything, too much of a good thing is not good. This is one thing that I learned the hard way throughout my AIESEC learning life. (Although the good people around me, got me through the tough times. :) To close this blog entry - I found a hilarious picture from this website.  Have a good one! Labels: thoughts How do you break the news?
In my life I have received different kind of news. Good news, bad news, sad news, happy news. All sorts. One thing that I observe quite interestingly is how people break the news that they are in a relationship (or not anymore, for that matter). Some keep it quiet until someone else asks suspiciously, some tried to bring it up indirectly but never ever proclaimed it directly. Again, all of these are relative to personality, the intensity of the relationship itself and the role you play in one's life. The tricky part is when you are not important enough for them to tell you directly but on the other side you are important enough for them to update you with their "general update in life". I have had a few occasions like this. This happens mostly with male - probably this is because of their inability to express their feelings and trying to maintain their cool, calm and collected -ness. Yes, yes, some of you might disagree with me :) Many times they tried to hint it in the conversation that they have a 'news'. I guess, those who knows me very well know that if you were talking to me - hinting doesn't really work :) Most of the times, if I am comfortable enough with that person I would ask for clarification, "What are you trying to say?" If I'm not - well then, the poor soul needs to find another way to tell. I think, the funniest and most extraordinary and I am sure never would be ever repeated again was when a classmate of mine - a long long time ago- when we were around 15- told me that he is going out with my cousin. (Thank God these people aren't reading my blog! Sheesh!). He went, "Nikita - guess what? I'm going out with your cousin." Yes, I just wish more of my friends were like him (only subtler of course. we are not 15 anymore) - no more guesswork! Why do I even post useless rants like this? - I wonder. Labels: thoughts
Posted on: Monday, October 01, 2007
Posted at: 9:10 AM 1 Comments:
An update
Hmmm... quite a few people are interested with the development of my post below. To be perfectly honest - I have not come to any conclusion but I really do believe that I will come to some sort of a compromise with them (with myself rather with my parents - as they have given up on telling me what to do and this time around is my conscience calling).I might go back home for a little while after my MCP term. It might do me good to reflect on everything that I have learned in the last few years. These few years - it has always been challenges after challenges ; learning after learning but I actually have no proper time to internalise everything that I have experienced. I know I am born to be more than just get stuck in the kitchen. Without being an angry feminists or what not but my life obviously serves a bigger purpose than that! I do very much agree with the comment posted on the previous blog entry. Other people has also told me so. They will be happy for my final achievement. If that notion is true then what I need to do is to achieve. Simple as that. Labels: thoughts |
